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Preview of Chapters


How I Quit Being Angry in a glimpse.


‘I am not a psychologist and there is not an answer to every condition in here. However, I know that my journey has been one of healing for me and my story can be of help to others. Dealing with anger in a constructive way is a skill which must be learnt and practiced and like anything we practice in life we will get good at in time.’

CHAPTER 1       My Story

‘My anger manifested at age four when I would often beat myself up, as it seemed to my mother, ‘for no reason at all’. Reflecting on those days now I realise that much of that would have come from frustration and maybe a feeling of guilt and worthlessness that children often have, blaming themselves for their parent’s fights. Although not physically violent, the fights seemed horrific to me at the time, and I often feared for my safety and locked myself in my room hiding under the covers even into my teen years.’

 CHAPTER 2      Taking Responsibility

‘Someone once said ‘life is a bridge’, if we stop crossing them then we are not moving onto greater things. Greater things not only for ourselves but for those who have chosen to take life’s journey along with us. Taking responsibility is one of these bridges that will lead to living a prosperous life. Change can make your life vibrant and exciting, an adventure. It will expand your life and take you to places you never thought were possible.’

CHAPTER 3       This Family of Emotions

‘If nothing ever went wrong for me then I would never get angry’.

The bible tells us that we are made in the image of God. So our emotions are God given. However how and when they appear in our everyday life depends on the experiences we have had or currently encounter.

CHAPTER 4       Making Safe Places

‘The distance between calm and rage seemed to be with me, a very short space of time, seconds in fact, and I had to deal with this first up. I needed to find practical solutions to over ride my emotions and make a SAFE place for me to go to as quickly as possible.’

CHAPTER 5       The How to Bit

‘I imagined that I had a tool box from which I had removed the old rusty tools I had been using to handle my frustrations and I replaced them with two shiny new tools…’

CHAPTER 6       The Engine Room

‘Our minds are a war zone and if left unbridled will bring death and destruction to our dreams and rob any hope for our future if we allow negative thoughts to reign.’

CHAPTER 7       Solving problems

‘Confrontation is often unpleasant and that is why many people avoid it. Keep the peace, remain loyal and just accept things the way they are, ‘it’s the good Christian thing to do’! Rubbish! If you wish to practice loyalty then be true to yourself and to those around you, deal with issues appropriately.’

 CHAPTER 8       I Matter

‘Boundaries are the roadways that good values drive on.’
‘Prosperity is the township that the boundary road leads to.’

CHAPTER 9       What about Me?

‘Boundaries that protect us are defence mechanisms. You have heard the scripture ‘turn the other cheek’. That doesn’t seem fair! I will get abused again!’

‘Don’t take the bait! The word offence in Greek is ‘skandalon’ which means a trap or snare for catching game. Satan loves to ‘set traps’ and does so constantly.’

‘There are three types of rejection we can and will encounter. All of these can lead to an angry response from you with either the other person or with yourself.’

CHAPTER 10     Leadership & Management vs Control

Do you try to control others around you to get your needs met?

Do you allow yourself to be controlled?

‘Angry people often use control to get a handle on situations. Those who hold their anger in often are the ones who allow themselves to be controlled.’

 CHAPTER 11     Fear the Destroyer

‘In the past I used to use my anger as a defence mechanism and my protector in what I felt were threatening situations. It was my comforter and friend in the time of trouble…’

‘The very thing that I was trying to achieve by using my rage to try and be on top of the situation only served to put me in a place of impotence.’

CHAPTER 12     The Valley

‘The valley was where I discovered who I am and who God is. It is where I found myself and what I wanted from life and what I have to give, my talents and my weaknesses. In the valley I found brokenness and death but I also found life in a new way. A seed must die before it can bear fruit.’

CHAPTER 13     The Miracle of Forgiveness

‘I once used to think that if I forgave someone then they won and there was nothing worse than giving in to the situation. If I forgave then often I felt domineered or was made to be subservient in the circumstances which I found myself in…’

‘Forgiveness is the bridge that reconciliation can cross over on…’

CHAPTER 14     The Main Thing

‘I suppose the greatest need we have as humans is to be wanted, feel secure, and know that we have a reason for living. Without these things there is an empty space that lives on the inside of us that hungers to be filled.’

‘Filling this space with people, things and activity is what many of us do. However it seems that this thirst is never satisfied….’

‘If I see myself as others see me then it has to be distorted…..’

‘These influences will affect my thinking which in turn affects my emotions, and from emotions comes behaviour.’

‘I can be true to myself because I don’t have to impress anyone to get affirmation. This is a position of…  LEADERSHIP’

CHAPTER 15      Stay in the Plan

‘Mindsets take time to reprogram. The physiology of our brain stores information and experiences that actually create a memory track that cannot be easily erased. However it is a track we can choose not to use.’

‘It is better to do something and fail a few times in achieving a goal or a dream, than to live in fear of making a mistake and end up doing nothing at all!’